Hứa An – Thân Thiện Thí
As a child, I often followed my mother to the temple and bowed to the Buddhas, but no one taught me much about Buddhism. At the age of 8, I witnessed the bloodshed during the 1968 Tet Offensive, then the horrible Vietnam
War, and the agony of countless people who had lost everything. Since then, I have always wondered: “Who am I, and what should I do to help humanity reduce suffering?”
In spite of countless tragic incidents crossing the ocean to escape and growing up in a foreign land, I always turned to Kwan Yin Bodhisattva and prayed for the Vietnamese people to overcome their calamity. However, the bowing ceremony at the temple was no longer as meaningful to me as before, so I began my journey to find a Buddhist master to learn the Dharma.
Years later, my sister Bach suffered from a very serious illness and wanted to learn Integral Tai Chi (ITC) with Thay in the hope of improving her condition. However, she was in San Jose, so she asked me to learn it and then teach it to her. Thus, I started my religious journey without even knowing it.
Not only did Thay teach the Dharma through Tai Chi, but he also made difficult Buddhist sutras and doctrines easy for us to understand and apply to everyday life. I remember well that I enthusiastically learned ITC with Thay in a small room of the Nhuan’s Far East Newspaper headquarters in 2004. Time went by quickly, but that year was infused in my memory.
As a member of the CSS, every year I had always hoped to join the XGVT Sangha but still missed the opportunity to do so for different reasons. Fast forward to 2021—a very high number of people all over the world died because of the Covid pandemic. In addition, our beloved CSS brother Hiển passed away and at the same time my 91-year-old father became seriously ill. I did not hesitate anymore. I asked my husband to let me shave my head and join the XGVT Sangha.
I remember vividly the morning Thay shaved my head. I was the first person to sit in the chair. I felt a sense of peace, serenity, and was very touched as this was my opportunity to step into a new chapter of my life. My heart overflowed with the love for my father, for brother Hiển, and the deep appreciation to Thay for helping me to fulfill my vow to become a nun to pray for those who died during the pandemic, for my father, and for brother Hiển. While cutting my hair, Thay explained: “Karma is much like hair. Visualize that as your hair falls, so does your karma.” The teaching was simple, but very poignant.
The next day, we started the journey to Pine Summit Camp by bus. Sister Hang, sitting next to me, comforted me with her warmth and her friendly reminders of the important activities during the XGVT program. The first day in camp, the precepts transmission ceremony was very touching. I received a robe, sash, bowl, and a precious message to begin to live the life of the Buddha. The most touching moment was when Thay reminded us: “Everything we do in XGVT from practicing the dharma, bowing to the Buddhas, to breathing the fresh air of the high mountain is for those who can no longer do it.”
I shared a room with two lovely dharma sisters. We went to the Buddha Hall every day to study the dharma to expand our wisdom. The team leaders worked very well, keeping everything clean and ready for us. There were days when I saw beautiful snowstorms. Even though it was cold outside, my heart felt warm because our beloved Masters Heng Chang and Heng Der and all our dharma friends were always around me. It was an indescribable joy to follow the footsteps of the Buddha. There were moments I completely forgot about all my normal life!
The days of cultivating with the XGVT Sangha passed quickly. On the last day of the XGVT program, all of us attended the precepts returning ceremony. When listening to Thay’s words of “returning the robe, sash, and bowl to the Buddha to go back to your normal life”, I tried to swallow my tears, but seeing sister Cuc crying, I couldn’t hold back anymore, and my tears fell like rain. It was the appreciating rain for the peaceful and gentle days living according to the Buddha’s teachings. I forgot all about the mundane world as I experienced something sacred and unforgettable. I told myself that I would bring that profound experience into my normal life.
Joining XGVT for the first time, I promised myself to open my heart and be ready to accept all new lessons so that I could absorb the profound experience. Sincerely, I would like to remind those who join XGVT for the first time: “Please open your mind to receive amazing experiences.” For those who have done it many times, each XGVT is a time to let go, to leave behind all the old experiences, so that we can freely open our heart to receive new ones.
I felt as if I had thoroughly understood Thay’s teachings about The Avatamsaka Sutra which always emphasizes “transcending worliness and engaging with the world” as well as constantly evolving. New experiences will help us become a mature person in spirituality and in many aspects of life.
Every one of us needs to give ourselves the opportunity to grow. The deeply profound experiences through XGVT will change ourselves, shake our foundation, and transform our life forever. Let us listen to the aspiration in our mind. XGVT is the journey back to our luminous self-nature, our innate light. I wholeheartedly wish you to have the diligence and success on the Dharma path.
