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On weekends, my husband and I joined a dharma sister in prostrating practice to support her since she was going to become a short-term nun later that year. At first, we only did prostration practice for 30 minutes, gradually increasing to 45 minutes. Once we practiced prostrating for an entire hour and I didn’t even notice that my knees had gotten scraped.

After that time, I suddenly came up with the idea of wanting to join the Altruistic Home-Leaving Sangha in Japan on behalf of my 86-year-old mother who was living in Vietnam with my siblings. Since the birth of my grandchildren, I rarely went back to visit my mom. It’s so true that “Tears only flow down”, or “River water only flows one way”, as the Vietnamese saying goes.

I finally registered to leave home to become a short-term nun. A week before my flight to Japan, I got the news about my mother’s death.

When I stepped onto the Land of the Rising Sun, it was a dream come true. Eventually, I learned to live in harmony with the sangha and practiced the life of a monastic undisturbed by the mundane world.

The day I had my hair cut by the Master, I felt very relieved, no regrets at all. In front of me and around me were familiar and unfamiliar people, yet I saw nothing but a clear sky in front of me. Only then did I understand that those who left home to become monastics were not to show off or be admired, but were experimenting whether they could really let go of everything.

I still remember the day when I joined the sangha for the three-steps-one-bow walk. We left the temple at 4am and gathered at the foot of the mountain. It was still dark when we started to head up from the foot of the mountain. Everyone was silent in the darkness, walking three steps and prostrating, following the bell of the leader. After a while I began to sweat, but felt chills and trepidation and I sensed many invisible faces on both sides of the road with my mother’s face among them. They just stood looking at us and didn’t seem fierce at all. I whispered in my head: There are so many ghosts!

When the three-steps-one-bow session ended on the top of the mountain, our group headed back to the temple to have breakfast. About half way, we caught up with the Master who stopped to talk and tell us that he met a headless ghost. I was also going to say that I also saw many ghosts. I don’t know why I was silent then. Maybe I’m embarrassed because I often told people that I had never met a ghost and that I’m not afraid of dead ghosts, just living ones. But that day I saw ghosts. Sitting down to write these words, I still had the feeling of getting goose bumps when I saw the ghosts standing on the dark side of the road.

In Japan, I enjoyed watching our monks and nuns standing in line waiting to enter the lecture hall. Those who had left home many times looked around to find old friends, while newcomers stood still for the first time, looking rather pensive and puzzled. These scenes reminded me of my school days. Before going to class, I’d have to stand in line for attendance or walk in pairs. I couldn’t leave the line, and sometimes I’d be reminded to straighten up my clothes, and so on.

I‘ve heard about Mandala from friends who attended it before, but I still could not imagine what it was really like. And finally I was present and seated in the Mandala. During the ceremony, I felt like I was in some sublime world. When the Master started singing a song I was not familiar with, my tears suddenly flowed. I didn’t know why I cried, perhaps because my dream has come true, or because I couldn’t be with my mother in her final moment; but maybe my mother could see through my heart.

Until now, I am still grateful to my group leader who always helps and encourages me in every way so that I can have the opportunity and means to learn the dharma. I am grateful to those in the Sangha for supporting, reminding, and helping me to cultivate. I’m especially grateful to my husband who sacrificed his overtime pay for me so that I could have enough money for my trip to Japan.

From now on, I firmly believe in the dharma. I vow to keep the precepts as my teacher and to always apply the dharma for self-improvement and self-transformation.

Ngô Thị Viên

I have always been in awe of all these novice nuns and monks who joined our organization’s (CSS) yearly Altruistic Home-Leaving program. These are professional people who have become assimilated into this society, standing firmly in place among their peers. They are not “losers” or people who are no longer interested in the life around them. They are also mothers, fathers, grandparents, brothers, sisters, sons, and daughters. They are not “lonely” people who have nothing to live for.

Yet, for a short period, they are willing to go “naked,” cutting away the crown jewel that is their hair which helps to shape how they want to present themselves to the world. Appearance is significant to us mundane people. We are cautious about how we dress on different occasions. We take care of not showing the signs of aging to the world. We have a specific self-image that we want the world to acknowledge. Nothing haphazard about our appearance once we walk out the door, even when we look casually unkempt.

So, what makes a person willing to put away all these trappings that help identify us to the world and be incognito among many indistinguishable people? The first Altruistic Home-Leaving program was in 2009, and in four years, I watched in awe as my dharma brothers and sisters, friends and acquaintances, shaved off their heads, put on shapeless, nondescript robes, and changed their persona. I thought this was the one thing that was beyond me; there was no way I could see myself going bald with no makeup and letting people see my unprepared self.

Yet life has a way of moving you forward and upward if you are open to and accept the challenge. When my husband passed away suddenly in 2011, my world shifted. The things that were so important before became inessential.

The head of my family was no more; the well-being of my family members was now squarely placed on my shoulders. I looked at my children and mother and felt the limits of what I could do for them.

As a Buddhist, I was taught that we could lessen the burdens of our karma by repentance, but that’s something one can only inspire people to do. Genuine contrition can’t happen by force. Still, there was a way. I couldn’t force my loved ones to repent to help themselves, but I could cultivate for them. I would join the short-term Altruistic Home-Leaving sangha and transfer all my cultivation efforts and merits to them. That was something I could do for them after all.

Armed with such a purpose, I joined the 2013 Altruistic Home-Leaving sangha. With exhilaration and trepidation, I traveled to California. I still remember the day of the head shaving. I sat among the first-timers, awaiting my turn to get my head shaved by Thay. One by one, people walked up, sat on the chair, feeling their hair leaving their heads and listening to Thay revealing and reassuring what’s most profound in their hearts. I sat there waiting, thinking that I still had a chance of walking out of there with my hair intact. Such mixed feelings I had then. Would I go through with this? For what purpose? Would it make a difference?

I saw my children’s struggles, my mother’s illness, and my husband’s hardship; my resolve was strengthened. Before the last person, I walked up to the chair. As I sat down and felt the electric shaver passing through my hair, I knew that this was the point of no return. I was embarking on a different journey, and all my struggles disappeared.

I heard Thay’s voice as if from a distance, telling me to learn to let go and to forgive, yet I couldn’t let go. I held back my tears; I would not cry in front of everyone. I was not ready to go completely “naked” yet.

Since then, each year, I have experienced, again and again, the transformation of my persona as I join the Altruistic Home-Living sangha. I felt my inner self revealed to the world, little by little. The pretense I showed the world grew less critical, and the love and enjoyment that helped me connect with people grew more meaningful. I am more accepting of my limits and my potential.

The love that opens in me helps me to embrace my mother more freely, unhindered by assumed past wrongs and schemas. I see my husband more clearly, understand his brilliance, goodness, and shortcomings, and accept his transgressions. My life becomes the example my children look at and guides their lives.

All the changes in me cannot come from books or knowledge alone but from experience, from the willingness to go “naked” in front of the world, however slowly. There is such lightness in being when we are less fearful of others’ judgment because we are more accepting of our limitations and unlimited potential.

I feel my blessings in being able to attend every year since I started, blessed for the opportunity to atone for my past transgressions, and those for whom I cultivated each year. I feel blessed for the chance to see how alike we all are beyond the pretense we show to the world.

Mai Ly Phạm

“When did you first leave home to become a temporary monk?”

“ I was very active and fearless as a boy. At age 18, I went swimming in the rough sea, arrogant of my youth and strength. When the waves turned tempestuous, they pulled me further out in spite of my effort to swim ashore. Exhausted, I thought I would die for sure. Just before passing out, I remembered what my mom taught me and could only think, “Please Kuan Yin, save me!” When I came to, I found myself lying on the beach, unharmed. At that time, I assumed I was just lucky, not thinking at all about spiritual cultivation. Besides, I didn’t know any Buddhist master to ask for guidance.

Then I came to the US and eventually got married. My wife often went to Master Hang Truong’s dharma lectures. She kept urging me to go with her. One day, I wanted to please her, so after taking our son to the dentist, I stopped by the place where Master was giving a lecture. Everyone was listening to Master attentively and appreciatively. However, it sounded all Greek to me. I couldn’t understand anything, but I stayed on.

Toward the end of the lecture, Khai Nghiem stood up to tell the story of dharma sister Lan Huong in OC. She was very ill, living alone, and in her condition, was unable to take care of her young child. So Khai Nghiem appealed to everyone to leave home temporarily and join the sangha to pray for her speedy recovery. At that moment, I looked at our son and thought, what would happen if I were in the same situation as Lan Huong? Suddenly my heart was filled with love for my wife and son, and also for Lan Huong, although I had never met her. I kept thinking about her situation. I tossed and turned all week long. Finally, I decided to ask my wife to let me become a temporary monk to pray for Lan Huong.

My wife was quite surprised, but very happy. After that, I had a talk with Master Hang Truong. I said, “Though I don’t understand your dharma lectures, I respectfully ask you to accept me to the sangha.” Master Hang Truong laughed and encouraged me. Since then, I’ve been closely connected with CSS, the Compassionate Service Society”

A story from dharma brother Thân Khai Thông Phát

Life’s journey is difficult and procuring the correct knowledge, support, and love is integral to our survival. It is the goal of Outreach Group for Altruistic Retreat (XGVT- Xuất Gia Vị Tha) to help people open their hearts, minds, and develop an ethos of helping others. This new group was formed by our Compassionate Service Society (CSS) this year to aid participants attain their goals of altruism and participate in our annual Altruistic Retreat to connect our network of affinity with the web of light of the Buddhas and bodhisattvas.

Head shaving is no longer perceived as an “exchange” for our prayers to come true, but instead a manifestation of the love for the people we volunteer to go to retreat and this love has touched the hearts of the Buddhas and bodhisattvas so much that they help us fulfill our wishes for our loved ones. Altruistic Retreat is not to sow seeds for future monk-hood or to achieve a supernatural state, but with each XGVT session we emphasize the importance of physical/ mental health & holistic spiritual cultivation. Experiencing a synergy of collective love in actions and words of our sangha members is the goal of our retreat. Gaining maturity through the entire spiritual spectrum, elevate our vision, recognize altruistic of a bodhisattva is to always bring peace and happiness to all living beings.

The XGVT retreat will guide cultivators in doing good deeds, developing skillful means in self- practice, as well as in helping others to better understand the dharma. Cultivators will also learn how to emanate the light of the Buddha nature to everyone so they can dispel darkness and suffering, especially during the pandemic. As the result, the XGVT Outreach group has been formed.

We fervently hope that you, your family, and friends will support our XGVT Outreach group and show your love and care to everyone in your communities and elsewhere. Anyone facing difficulties, obstacles in life or health and unable to participate in the XGVT sangha, provide empathy for them and the XGVT Outreach group will help them feel our love and Master Hang Truong’s compassion for them. Please help them feel supported on their spiritual, emotional, mental, and heart opening journey. Helping those that need it believe that their limitless power of love will touch the Buddhas and bodhisattvas, and eventually their situation will improve and allow them to participate in the XGVT sangha.

PLEASE JOIN OUR NEWLY FORMED XGVT OUTREACH GROUP AND HELP US ACHIEVE OUR MISSION TO SUPPORT THE 2022 XGVT.

With deep gratitude,

The XGVT Outreach Group.

Hello everyone!

We are 6 months away from the World Peace Gathering in December. The Mandala will be particularly dedicated for the 3.9M global deceased of COVID-19. With such a tremendous loss, we believe in the synergy of gathering all your sincere heart and mind to bring healing to the world.

We need you, a lot of you, Thousands of you with your sincerity and deep meditative strength. To be ready, join us every Saturday morning (starting on July 3rd, 2021) from 8:00 am to 9:00 am PST to cultivate the 4 Lotuses, the core practice of this year’s human Mandala.

You want to give more? Yes, you can! Join the core of the Mandala through the Altruistic Home-Leaving retreat. It is a 12-day commitment in being a full-ordained novice Buddhist monk/nun. Trainings will be announced to learn the virtuous monastic lifestyle.

We wish the most successful Mandala – bringing peace and healing to the world.