Like all women, I love to look beautiful, young, well-dressed with good makeup, manicured nails, and beautiful hair. I admire all the novice nuns and monks who joined the yearly Altruistic Home-Leaving program during the World Peace Gathering, organized by Master Hang
Truong and the Compassionate Service Society in Orange County, California. I never understood until now what motivated them to leave home for two weeks during the preparation of the holidays, shaved their head, and prayed for others. How did they do it and why did they do it?
In 2014, I decided to do it, not because of anyone’s challenge or dare, but because I believed there must have been a spiritual transformation or something magical happening during those weeks of being a novice nun or monk. I did not participate the first time when they were organizing World Peace Gathering (WPG) in 2009, for fear this event was for other people: shaving my head and having to go back to the office bald was beyond my limit. That was a very tough challenge for me. Friends and family would think that I have cancer; makeup and dressing up sure will not look good with a bald head. I was so very vain. Giving up our hair is like giving up our best effort to look beautiful to the world around us, for acceptance, for compliments, and for identity. That is a big sacrifice for any woman. We like to look good every day. As soon as we get up, we look at the mirror to check how we look, how others might perceive us, from morning till night, from youth to adulthood, to our golden age. Most women like to shine in a crowd, stand out in a party, to be admired, to be envied.
Little did I know that, when you conquered that big challenge the first time, it becomes easier and easier the next time. This is just the beginning. I still remember vividly now, my first time waiting for my turn to get my head shaved by Master Hang Truong. For every lock of hair that he shaved off, each one was a commitment to cultivate for my parents, for my husband and children, for our family members, for our friends, and for all living beings. I still can’t believe that I did it. I felt so light. What you sacrificed to offer to your loved ones for their good health and well-being, it sure gave you back a great feeling of letting go of your mask, a faked persona that you have to wear for different activities, different situations (at home, the office, a reunion, a dance, the market, etc.).
That mask is definitely not you. Once you took off your mask, you feel free and have no worry about other people’s remarks or judgements. You are truly free, free to be the true you!
During the two weeks of training, we did a lot of repentance bowing to diminish our karma. We learned and discussed part of the Avatamsaka Sutra teachings to lift us to a higher consciousness. We meditated to see our inner self and stay aware of our big ego at all times. And we learned how to live harmoniously as a community of good brothers and sisters ready to share our knowledge, our wisdom, and our life. We didn’t just repent and pray for our own karma but also for our loved ones’ karma or our web of affinities.
There are things in life that you wish to do for others that you can’t force them to do. Joining the Short-term Altruistic Home-Leaving sangha and transferring all your efforts and merits to them is a great way to give and contribute to your family, friends, and all the people around you.
I do cherish all the times I spent with Master Hang Truong and my extended family so much that I’m committed to attend the World Peace Gathering every year when I can. For 12 years now, I’ve experienced this spiritual transformation again and again, and each time I learned more about letting go of my own identity. My ego is slowly diminishing and my true self starts to shine slowly, each year better than the last.
Now when it comes time to make that first step into the Mandala at the World Peace Gathering, you just feel like flying out of your cocoon to become a free and beautiful butterfly. It is a magical moment. When we meditate and pray inside the Mandala, I feel that the whole universe is listening and is praying with me. Their voice is my voice and my voice is the whole universe’s voice. We are one. I become one with the universe.
The feeling of love, care, and blessing just poured down on me like a beautiful summer rain. I am surrounded by love and warmth. My whole body seems so at ease and relaxed, that I feel that I am home. I am truly home.
I invite all of you to feel the same wonderful feeling with all of us at the next World Peace Gathering.
Kim Bằng Lê